Are you a Victim or Warrior in your Life?

Have you ever had to describe a person to a common friend?

If you have to describe a person only through memory, how would you do it?

You would describe their appearance and eventually, you would remember how they made you feel about yourself.

Also, when you remember or talk about certain people, you would have noticed at least one unique and remarkable personality trait.

One thing that contributes to you remembering that unique personality is the way they think and act in different situations.

That is a result of a combination of belief systems that they have acquired over so many years and is called a “Mindset”.

Simply based on “Mindset”, people can be divided into three major categories.

1. People with Victim Mindset.
2. People with Survivor Mindset.
3. People with Warrior Mindset.

Let’s see what these mindsets are.

Victim Mindset

A victim is a person who was attacked, killed or hurt. They start to think and believe that they are weak. Sometimes, they believe it strongly.

People with a victim mindset take huge offence at the slightest possible offensive situation, where a simple apology would be sufficient to calm down most people.

They have difficulty trusting others and put others in an insecure environment around them.

They always ask the following questions,

“Why me?”

“Why only me?”

“Why it is always me?”

They exhibit comparing, blaming, complaining and giving excuses as a major part of their behaviour.

The victim mindset is nurtured well by this behaviour.

The more you ask for excuses, give reasons or complain, the more you are going into a loopy habit that will keep you down in the same victim mindset.

These are all the symptoms of not taking any responsibility or rising above and beyond petty issues.

They also don’t have a habit of reflecting upon their own behaviour or accepting feedback. This indicates not learning and improving from previous experiences.

Even if you take the initiative and give feedback for their improvement they would consider that as a direct personal attack.

Some would experience fear and anxiety when they had to reflect upon themselves.

You would find establishing a deep and meaningful relationship with them is difficult or next to impossible. They are not consistent in their habits and give reasons.

The fundamental building block of emotions, that helped protect us for thousands of years are Fear, Anger and Insecurity.

All three emotions are well connected and influence each other very well.

People in the victim mindset are slaves to these emotions. They don’t have control over these emotions and have issues in handling them at work or home.

They perceive and believe these emotions as exceedingly bigger than they actually are under most situations.

Let’s see about these emotions further.

Fear:

There are only two types of fear at the time of birth. One is Fear of Falling and another is Fear of Darkness. All others are acquired.

So, Fear can be classified majorly as:

• Fear of Failure
• Fear of Uncertainty
• Fear of Loneliness
• Fear of Rejection
• Fear of Abandonment
• Fear of Death

Understanding deeply you only come to know that these fears are only disguised versions of fear of falling and fear of darkness.

Anger:

Anger is a sign of weakness misunderstood as strength. People in the victim mindset often do this. It is a symptom of inability.

Anger is used as a weapon to hurt others while things can also be handled differently, from a position of strength.

The inability to communicate with clarity and having a lot of unhelpful assumptions in communication is the root cause of anger.

Insecurity:

Fear is the root cause and insecurity is an emotional response to the feeling.

Unhealed past wounds, bad habits, addictions and lack of good habits aggravate insecurity apart from complementing each other.

Fear, Anger and Insecurity are interconnected and need to be handled together.

Some people enjoy being the victim. They purposely sabotage their own hard work, reputation and growth not necessarily for a valid reason.

People in the victim mindset are characterised by excessive self-doubt, inadequacy and rigid/people-pleasing in nature.

They exhibit the same behaviour on others as well.

Excessive self-doubt manifests itself as suspicion, inadequacy as mistrust and rigid/people-pleasing as controlling others in relationships.

So, it is better to come out of this state as quickly as possible and reach Survivor State.

Survivor Mindset

People with a survivor mindset has decided that enough is enough with the abuse they experienced in their life and has made up their mind to start standing up for themselves.

They also have become aware of their behaviour and thought process and have decided to come out of the enslaving victim mindset. They need to work consistently and reach the Warrior state.

Healing is the first thing they should do. In case the wounds of the past are not healed, they would bleed on their near and dear ones.

Healing takes a lot of dedicated effort.

There could be a lot of inconsistencies, failures, frustrations, confusion, rage, withdrawal, procrastination, laziness, and people-pleasing traits.

On the far end of overcoming this, is the survivor mindset.

Once you reach a certain level of self-acceptance and peace with your past self, you can enter the Warrior mindset state.

Warrior Mindset

People with a warrior mindset are generally healed of their past wounds, entirely at peace with themselves and are now working towards reaching their true potential.

These people are a joy to work with. They are always ready to look at the possibilities of success, embrace the uncertainty in the real world and are always open, accept reality as it is and are ready to learn.

Most importantly, they have the courage to admit their own mistakes and learn from them.

They show good emotional regulation and social intelligence and are capable of communicating effectively well.

They are highly decisive, know about boundaries very well and communicate assertively.

They have an energy that is attractive to kind and high achievers as well as repelling unkind and inactive ones.

Humans have the power to change their mindset as they wish.

I have studied a lot of people and came up with this theory. This works fine on almost all of them and has a good success rate as well.

Before going further, let us see some important questions.

I want to change myself, but how to change?

Where to start first?

Is it really possible to change at this age?

These are some of the typical questions that need to be addressed and made clear.

Age is not a factor. Humans have the capability to change at any age. Start with the simple change in mindset as given in the article.

Soon you would find a Warrior within yourselves.

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